I’m horribly OCD. Obsessive. Compulsive. About everything. like.. EVERYTHING. 

1) I cannot have my clothing touch the floor at any time. Doesn’t matter if they’re on books that are on the floor, or a purse, but they just can’t be touching the actual floor/carpet. 

2) I HAVE TO sleep with my closet door/bathroom door closed. I don’t like sleeping with dark openings in my room. So sue me.

3) Don’t squeeze the toothpaste tube straight in the middle… Please? 

4) Don’t have the toilet paper roll from the inside.. You know, when it like rolls the back way and touches the wall before coming out from under. NO NO NO! It’s supposed to roll from the top! I’m telling you, I’ve changed the direction of the toilet paper in more locations than I would like to admit.. Unless I want you judging me. Which I don’t..

5) The volume. It has to be multiples of 5s. But I swear! I’ve been working on this one. I can now have the volume rest at 7 and 12. Don’t ask me why those are okay. I have no freakin clue. 

Now, you’re probably thinking.. “wait a second, I thought this post was titled ‘when people are late’… Why is Tracie telling me about her freaky Asian OCD?”

I’m gettin to it. Calm your panties.

I just have a butt ton of things in my life that I can’t explain. I have strange impulses and strange ideas of what makes my life good and happy. I will admit that the 5 things that I have just listed off, although it’s not a complete list of my insanity, are pretty preposterous. But you wanna know something that’s NOT preposterous? I can’t STAND it when people are LATE!! I don’t mean like.. 5 minutes here and there.. whatever. See? I’m even nice enough to give a grace period of cinco freaking minutos. (5 freaking minutes for those of you who don’t know Spanish. In southern California?? You should be ashamed.)

I’m talking about when you make plans for with your girlfriends, or your boyfriends.. or your boyfriend. WHATEVER. You make plans, you set a date, you make an EFFORT to keep your friends around. Right? Right.

So I’m the type of person that obsessively (haha…) makes check lists and time schedules in my head. If I said I’m going to meet you at 8 pm, I assess if I need to take a shower at some point because the last time I showered was like 3 days ago…?

Well, that actually depends on if I like you enough to feel the need to shower for you.. I’m joking. ha. ha… ish. But for the purposes of this post, let’s just say if I’m taking my time to meet up with you, that I like you. 

Anyway, back to assessing if I need to take a shower. If I do, that’s gotta be like..30 minutes, I need to pick out an outfit which can take anywhere from 5 minutes to FORTY 5 minutes. And I don’t mean 45 minutes, I mean like..40x5 which is 200 which is a lot more than 45.. And of course, I have to put on my face! I mean.. my make up. Which takes usually 20 minutes or so.

So I have a damn good idea of how much you mean to me, how much time I’m willing to take to prep for you, and how much free time I have. I start getting ready, account for traffic, how long it’ll take to get to our meeting place and will show up somewhere in the ball park of… 7:58 to 8:03. 

So if I’m there.. at 8.. just like we said… IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU’RE THERE AT THAT TIME AS WELL?? Some might say yes.

But I’ll say to those “some”. screw you. With the most ginormous sarcastic smile :D

I might have even given up the extra five minutes to find the PERFECT lip stick shade… and just go with my go-to nude lip gloss so that I wouldn’t be late..and here you are..or not.. being.. late. My lips, and I, hate you. 

You realize how stupid somebody looks just waiting outside.. like.. a total loner, with nude lips that could look better with hot pink…but since lip liner and lip sticks are a more precise art form than chapstick or lipgloss that SOMEBODY sacrificed it… to see you… and you’re not here. 

I think I just realized my problem. I don’t like looking like a loner. 

so do me a fucking favor and show up on time. Yea? kthnxbye.

**this in NO WAY reflects real events

So don’t be offended, Muriel.

And you shouldn’t check my fb list of friends for a Muriel. Because THAT would be dumb. HAHA if you already did.

For all you girls out there who have attempted this.. and understand what the hell I’m talking about.. 

Let me set this up for you. You’re studying for this super important midterm—when are midterms not important?—and your normally fabulous hair is just getting in the damn way. You look to the right side of your desk, then the left side..and! TA DAA!!! A hair tie! So you grab it and very casually toss up your hair in a messy bun—the most logical thing to do to ensure every strand is out of your face. You’re drinking your water and OH! It’s time for a bathroom break..so you get up and on your way to the bathroom, you sneak a peek at the mirror, cause let’s face it, who doesn’t look at their reflection when given the opportunity? Hell, I’ll stare at a puddle. I joke. Anyway, you see yourself in the mirror and DAYUM girl..your hair looks CUTE. So you put a little hop in your step, do what mother nature told you to get up for, and go back to your studying. You fall asleep probably in an awkward position, maybe face planted..maybe with a puddle of drool (that you attempt to stare at yourself in?), I don’t know.. I DON’T JUDGE. You rush to the bathroom and EW. Your hair is not so cute anymore.. 

So dilemma.. NOW your hair has weird creases and curls in it if you try to undo the hair tie..so 

Option 1: Put a giant hoodie over it and look like you’re cheating during your midterm 

OR

Option 2: Recreate the messy bun to hide the said weird creases and curls. 

PROBLEM: It is FREAKIN impossible to recreate a GREAT messy bun. These things happen purely by accident and when you least expect it. If you look in the mirror, if your body even detects that you’re putting a LITTLE bit of effort into this messy bun…YOU’RE SCREWED. It doesn’t work. And you can’t just trick your body into thinking that you really don’t care how it looks and just “toss it up” again because you will inevitably look like a pineapple or something else that has weird sprouts growing out of its top. 

So..

SOLUTION:  I hate to break it to you girls.. there is no real one.. the only one I can propose is..

study for your damn midterm AHEAD of time and NOT just the night before.

proof that God is not fair. 

I’m sorry. Too all my friends who commit this tragedy. I don’t mean to offend you. And with all the love in my heart, I tell you… TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS. I’ve felt very strongly about this topic and when Blair Waldorf confirmed my sentiments in one of the latest episodes of gossip girl…i felt like less of a bitch for thinking it. Or maybe more of a bitch because HELLO. It’s Blair. 

SO SAD…I saw a girl at Starbucks (OF COURSE I’m at Starbucks. I’m Tracie Cho. What do you expect??) NOT FAT. Small. She might have even been a dancer or an actor of sorts. She was carrying this giant book which looked like a portfolio..wearing cute cowboy inspired boots..a turquoise/blue t-shirt that really flattered her tan skin (: ANDDDDDDDD wait for it!!!!!!!….. tights.. UGH killed the outfit. Not only was she wearing tights..it was the kind that was like..almost see through. HONEYS!!! Hold your tights up to the light. If you can see through them..THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN TOO. And I know you want to show off that FABULOUS ass of yours, but there are MANY other ways you can do that without showing me your Victoria’s Secret PINK panties that say “LOVE ME” in silver glitter. 

I can understand the yoga pants or the “I just got out of dance class” look. You just got out of a class and want a coffee. I won’t criticize too harshly for that. However, when you’re wearing tights as a cute addition to your outfits… at the VERY least… don’t let me see what you’re wearing (or NOT wearing) under it. Which brings me to another small rant… thongs with tights are not that much better. You can usually see your thong through your SEE THROUGH tights..which make us comfortable to know that what we see is actually your bare ass. 

If you’re gonna wear tights, wear a top that will cover your ass because contrary to popular belief TIGHTS AREN’T PANTS. 

I ask the people around me random questions at the strangest times, and I’m sure they would NEVER understand where it all came from…

So, an interesting topic came up when I randomly asked Dean…Let’s say your wife is like HELLA rich. Either her dad/mom come from a butt ton of money, or she makes like..a couple million a year.. or something. Would you keep on working? 

The first thing he asks me is, “well, what are her spending habits?” Smart dude. So then I rephrase my question to..What if she’s some chemical engineer or some crazy ish like that and she develops a CURE FOR AIDS and so she’ll continue receiving a steady income until she dies. Whatever it is, she’s set for life. And he poses another question “Do I have kids?” Without really thinking, I automatically answer, “yes.”

He says, “No. Then I’d just stay at home and spend time with my kids.” 

At first I’m slightly puzzled by this. So I ask him “you wouldn’t feel inadequate?” Because wouldn’t most men answer that they’d continue working regardless because they wanna feel like they’re contributing to the family, or they wanna be the breadwinners? 

He gives me the explanation that this is why he probably doesn’t want to be a dad. Confused? Let me explain.

He says that he believes most men have a flawed view of why they have children. It seems to them kind of like the package deal that comes along with having a successful career and a wife. But as for him, at that point in his life, if he decided to have kids, it would be because he wanted them. That parents should only be away from their children because they have to be—they work in order to provide for them. 

I feel like that’s the typical man’s view of why they work and have a family. I’m DEFINITELY NOT saying that there are no exceptions, and I it’s not like I’ve conducted a sociological experiment to reach this conclusion/assumption, but that’s what it seems to be, no? 

I just threw my two cents in there and said it’s interesting that women are almost always forced to choose between having a successful career and having kids (That Modern Family episode with Minnie Driver being a perfect example). And that is why more and more women are not having kids or having kids at a later age. They want to have a career—it’s rewarding, it puts their college degree to good use, and it proves that women are capable of doing jobs and having careers that are right up there with men. But for men, the whole career vs. children is not even an issue. They automatically assume that that’s how their life will be. job. wife. kids. Again, I’m not saying that men do not love their children, or give greater thought to having children, but I’ve been learning in my family and gender soc classes that this is the trend—men can have jobs and their wives can have their dream job OR have kids; and if they choose to have both, it’s a very difficult path. 

I really didn’t start writing this with the thought of reaching any sort of conclusion. I just wanted to jot down this interesting conversation I had, but I guess my conclusion, if I had one at all, would be that if men thought more like women do regarding children and careers, we MIGHT be better off? 

No more feelings of inadequacy just because your wife earns more than you, dads could stay at home with their children if they wanted to (without feeling like incompetent), and children wouldn’t simply be the NEXT step in life, but a conscious decision made by husband and wife to bring new life into the world, provide for them in the best way possible, and make every decision from then on with the betterment of their child’s life in mind.

I am NOT trying to spur up a debate..I’m sure there are WONDERFUL men out there who really do want children, who want the best for them. I’m sure there are successful women out there who did a great job at raising their children. But really, the most interesting thing about this whole conversation, for me at least, was that Dean gave me a guy’s point of view about how life works for men—job, wife, kids—that mentality. And it was definitely refreshing for me to hear that he would give up a career to spend more time with his kids, if he had that opportunity, as if he were to reach that point, children would be the main focus of his life. 

**apologies to Dean if I misrepresented or embarrassed you in any way, shape or form :D 

For all of you who make fun of me for being scared of birds. Just LOOK at this terrifying creature. It’s a cassowary from Australia. It’s..disgusting. It’s a buffalo and a turkey rolled into one. iT HAS THESE HUGE CLAWS and it can back kick you and gut you like a Velociraptor in Jurassic Park. It’s f—king crazy. 

ew ew ew ew ew!!!!!!

1) buscar: to look

So Simba is walking around looking for his uncle Scar. He’s LOOKING for his uncle… and when he finds him, do you know what he says? BOO Scar!! (buscar!!) 

2) anaranjado: orange 

(this one is a stretch…)

Ana and Jose are running a race towards an ORANGE ribbon. You know, the one that they use in races where the winner breaks through the ribbon? And it’s traditionally white, but in this story its ORANGE. They’re at the last stretch, and Ana wins because Ana ran harder..Anaranharder…Anaranjado? hahaha

So I guess it’s NOT because of my 3 all nighters in a row that I find these hilarious… I’m just a dork. 

so I know that most of you have probably seen/heard the weird things that disney adds to their movies subliminally like The Lion King’s “SEX”, Aladdin’s “take off your clothes”, etc.. if you have NO clue what I’m talking about.. It’s called google. Get with the program. If you just checked it on google and now know what I’m talking about and subsequently your world has been shattered..my apologies for being the one to break the news to you.

anyway, there are SO many messed up things that are NOT subliminal or hidden..nope. They don’t even try to hide it.. 

1)Sleeping Beauty.. She’s great.. Except for she sings like a 50 year old woman trapped inside a 16 year old who is trapped in a cottage with three crazy fairies. In all seriousness, have you EVER heard a 16 year old sing like THAT? 

2)The Little Mermaid..”I’m sixteen years old, I’m not a child anymore”….the fk? Enough said. 

3) they ALWAYS kill off the mother. Or there IS no mother. Cinderella? Jasmine? Ariel? Lilo? Nemo? Belle. Snow White. Ahh why not, I’ll throw the Seven Dwarves in there too.

4) Has anyone else noticed that all the la-dee-dah princesses get married at 16?? 16?! Perhaps this is why our generation has “Sixteen and pregnant” on MTV. If this whole 16 and pregnant thing ever happens to you, just blame it on Disney. Sixteen IS the magical age after all. 

the list goes on and on… I really could keep going, but I’ll stop. But speaking of dysfunctional families… 

Everyone should watch Modern Family. EVERYONE. It’s sort of super duper awesome. And by sort of, i mean really.

NO. Don’t do that. If you’re one of the people who say this, you’re an idealist..or you’re just stupid. 

I don’t know about you, but if I lived every day as if it were my last, I’d have an empty bank account, I’d probably have a few broken bones, and i MIIIIGHTT be in jail. 

I guess I can understand live every day to its fullest..(like not regretting the decisions you make for that day) although I’m sure some picky person out there can find an argument that says that phrase is stupid too. 

And for those of you who have already realized this phrase is stupid, GO YOU! :D 

I’m not cynical.. I’m a realist. Sometimes. Except when it comes to The Notebook, because let’s face it, who can resist Ryan Gosling? DUH.

My boyfriend was telling me how his funny Spanish teacher used to make up strange ways to remember spanish words. 

1) ayudar: to help

There is a man and he gets stuck in a hole in the ground. He starts yelling help! help! are you there? are you der? ayudar?? 

2) patinar: to skate

Do you know who likes to skate? Pat and Tina :D 

I’m probably retarded in thinking this is amusing. But I thought it was amusing after a three nights of all nighters. Just abso-freaking-lutely hilarious (: